tonight i watched my grandmother leave my grandfather's bedside, where he was lying in a proper bed for the last time. as she was leaving the room, she turned back and walked to his side.
never in this life of mine have i heard her speak his name so gently.
her words fell on our ears like freshly fallen snow. soft, and cold. not the cold of detachment, but the chill of an empty soul.
try as i may, i can never replicate the scene with words on screen. it is fresh and vivid in my memory, but i am not gifted enough with words to translate that poignance into words.
tonight i watched my family unite in the shared grief of a loved one, lost forever to the dust and time. my grandfather must have been very loved, more than i was aware of, for many unexpected tears were shed for his departure.
he was a simple man who never wanted any more than he needed. (i cannot continue this section without tearing so i'll just leave it hanging.)
love is so much more than all it's made out to be these days. my grandparents probably fought every single day of their lives. in the recent few years, he even started being violent due to his dementia, and a lack of awareness of his sheer strength and the hurt it could cause my grandmother and others around him. at the end of the day, all the years they've spent together, all that time, all the shared experiences... it's not a beautiful thing. it's a lot of sweat and blood and tears arguments and fights, a struggle to bring the family to where we are today. nothing like the hogwash of today's romance with the flowers and sunsets and pretty words, just a simple one where the bond is strong and true.
my grandmother may have cried and complained and despaired at my grandfather's condition for the past couple of years, but tonight, i'm sure, she would rather have him throwing a tantrum in the middle of the night, than not have him at all.
but then, it is always better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all.