it's not that i am ignorant or naive. i'm really quite sick of people asking me, why the heck i put so many hours into something that's merely a part-time job. this is where the issue of empathy comes in, or so i'd like to think. putting myself in the shoes of someone at the managerial level, managing a group of part-timers... imagine in none of them want to work on weekends. i mean, hey, it's just a goddamn part-time job, why give your precious weekends to them? well, that's because i understand the frustration of not having a cooperative team. i wouldn't want to have a team, however disjointed and not really a team at all, that couldn't even provide this minimal semblance of commitment.

so what if this is just a temporary job, where i'm, in everyone's opinion, an insignificant pawn that will disappear sooner or later anyway without making any visible impact on the company? it doesn't matter to me. in line with my principles i intend to put in my all for everything i do. it won't kill me, because i know when to stop. i think it's unreasonable to impose your personal opinions on me because, guess what, i have personal opinions too!

i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i were any other way.

sometimes i wonder why i was born with such an innate need to pass moral judgement. why i feel so strongly about protocol (by my standards), why i am so uptight about certain things. but i will stand by them. over the course of the years, i've struggled time and again with trying not to impose these same strict rules i set for myself on other people. i know it happened many times in choir. and i was told by both ms loo and mr toh that, everyone has different working styles. mine, especially, didn't fit well with most people. now i think i've become a lot more bo chup about other people. but i will insist on doing things the way i believe they should be done, when it boils down to me, and only me.