and there was another lady who, before she left, told me "you were wonderful today :)" omg she really made my day! i love working at canele, even though my legs cramp up every single time.

the chaperone thing was really just, awfully boring. and the sec ones really pissed me off. the sec twos were more well-behaved, so i was much nicer to them. heh.

-

i always feel damn miserable at home. i need to find some peace.

i hate these attacks of loneliness. it's the kind of feeling that makes me want to vomit and cry. the feeling that you don't belong anywhere, with anyone, anything. but it's not a stagnant feeling, it's a constantly churning one. i'm losing people in my life, and i can feel it, but i don't know how to deal with it. there's only so much space in my heart that i can devote to people, and right now it's so consumed that so many others are slipping out of my grasp. or rather, they have been, since a year or more ago, just that i didn't care. didn't want to care. still don't want to care. i need to find that "grey area" (i still think that's a ridiculous way of describing it, but it works).

but i know that come tomorrow, everything will be alright again.